Where'd she go?

She was brave once, brash in her opinions (and in her opinion that everyone should know and care about...her opinions). Loud, vivacious, comfortable pushing the envelope, unafraid of letting her feelings show... even those ones, even her crushes, even love. oh how he fell for her in all her broken bravery... after.

She was brave once. Before she built those walls. (although she's sure those walls are invisible to the ones who look, because her voice carries so easily over top of them. But she knows they're there. She's the one who occasional bangs her head against them after all.)

She was brave once. She would have told him. But now her silence deafens her. She doesn't know when she gave up her boldness. She clings to an illusion of it (that's what you see, if you're wondering).

She was brave once. Reckless with her own heart. that's over. She's learned that lesson.

But she'd like to find that brave girl again. She'd like to be able to just say......

Rose petals

So the other day, on Valentine's Day, we had a fundraiser event here at my theatre - a big fashion show thing. One of the designers, Harvey (who has become one of my favorite new people, along with his partner, Idaho) sent me home with the leftover rose petals the next day saying "Have a bath with them."

I never thought this would be something I'd do. I don't think I would have considered it without the suggestion. But it was so girly and fun... I actually wanted to take pictures of my bathtub - it was so very pretty. And it smelled delicious! It was almost romantic and I was delighted.

So if someone ever gives you rose petals and suggests going home and having a bath with them, I would definitely recommend it. Even if at first it seems an odd suggestion.

OCD

I have days when I compulsively check my email. I hold my breath as the program opens, hitting the send/receive button every 45 seconds, hoping for that elusive email... but for the last, longest while... it has not come. And always I think the person on the other end - rather than simply busy, or not able to get online - is angry with me for some mysterious thing I have done (or not done).

I am irrational and paranoid.

Or maybe I just miss him.

sadly lacking

So my horoscope has been veritably screaming about romance and love and finding that new someone for about four days and today it says that all the romance will finally settle down into a comfortable afterglow.... umm? What romance?

I know - I don't necessarily take the whole horoscope thing to heart but come on! Gimme something here... this is getting ridiculous!

this moment of geek...

Alternate title: I'm a big nerd but so are most of the people I know

So the theatre where I work is running a fundraiser and there's this thing where we've sent out wine labels to famous people and we're hoping they'll sign them and send them back, whereupon we will affix them to wine bottles and auction them off....

So far a few famous people have sent things back... the mayor, Margaret Atwood, Paul Gross... people like that. But today I opened an envelope and gasped. I held the envelope open gingerly and didn't touch the actual label... I brought the envelope to show others who were also very excited by the contents. This was definitely the best wine label so far.

The signature: Leonard Cohen.

nightmare averted

I'm friends with alot of people who, for one reason or another, travel around together in vans: bands mostly, but also the odd theatre company and such.

Last night one of those groups of people were in a very bad van accident. The van is totalled. By some miracle, all escaped with only bumps and bruises. They're ok.

For anyone who has friends who tour, this is the nightmare you hope never happens. It is something you try hard not to think about but often do, particularly when it's winter and roads are bad....

But they're ok. So when they get back, I'll hug them all the harder. And for right now I am so very thankful.