what I want to do when I grow up.

I've been thinking alot about what it would be like if I could make enough money to live on with the weird array of stuff that I do to help the people who make the music. I think that would be swell. I think it would be the thing that I could do that I wouldn't want to quit every three weeks or so. I think the passion that I feel for it would keep me going, keep me happy and the variety of the work (and people) would keep me challenged and keep me from being bored.

I do realize that this is a stretch. That this would be a difficult way to make my living. That it can never be my sole income (but could it be my soul income?). So I will likely continue with this combo-platter of a life where I make my main income here at the theatre (which on many days I do truly love), and fill in the gaps with music stuff and the other bits I dabble in...

On the odd day I think about chucking the whole idea of working in the arts and going back to the lab, making money and being perpetual arts volunteer girl again. There are days when I think that's the right tack to take... athough they are few and far between.

Yes, that's EXACTLY what I meant!

Excerpt from an article from Eye magazine in Toronto wherein Luke Doucet explains something I have tried to explain a million times. From now on I will use this story.

"...
We start discussing the reasons people listen to music in the first place. Then Doucet tells this story:

"I remember being a kid and getting a skateboard for Christmas," he recounts. "It was made of some kind of red translucent vinyl. You could hold it up to the light and see it shine through, but there was a pattern etched into the top, not unlike the patterns on a linoleum floor. My favourite thing when I first got it was holding it up to a 60-watt light bulb and looking through it, thinking, 'This is my skateboard and isn't that colour amazing?' And I think that's why people listen to music: they don't know why, it just looks cool, or sounds cool, or makes you feel good."

..."

For me, it's just that simple.

odd sensation...

Well that's kinda funny. Who knew a wee email could cause such a stir? Such a fluttering in the stomach from just those few words - innocuous as they were. Hmm. Funny.

The show.

This is what I did this weekend. Well this is actually a review of the Toronto show for the tour which I saw the last two shows for but I'd have to agree with most of what this guys says - I too have been won over and blown away by Shout Out Out Out Out. I also am the proud new owner of two Fembots CDs, enjoyed the Whitey Houston, and well, if anyone reads this blog I'm sure they have already heard me talk about Luke Doucet so I won't wax poetic there.

You can't go home again... except the times you can.

In spite of the fact that most of us seem to have forgotten that we are supposed to be back there this week, we muster the troops (most of them anyway - and in record time) and head out to the Park. The route is still so famiiar I think I could drive it in my sleep. The snow that feels too early somehow seems totally right for this trek (we've never come here regularly in summer after all).

Walking in, everything is the same...from the warmth of the fireplace that gradually overcomes the draft by the door to the array of beers available on tap, to the shadows of bad lighting on the singers' faces, to the table of regulars over there and the big empty booth sitting there, waiting for us. But more... the feeling of comfort and ownership, the welcoming smile of the man behind the bar (the fact that he still remembers your order and my allergies). This was a place that we called Sunday dinner - the weeky routine, the beginning and end of our weeks of hustle and bustle. The new faces here tonight only contribute to my feeling of ease here. (They are another kind of home for me, after all.) The voices I love sing through the dry wall dust of the day's activities as we hop from booth to booth visiting in various combinations, nursing our varied beverages, listening and singing along, and discussing anything and everything...and nothing at all.

Hello again pub that I adore... I've missed you.