Ever have one of those moments where you are so filled with happiness and contentment that you actually think: "OK, if I die right now, it would be ok. If this is my last moment here on earth I couldn't have asked for more." ?

Last night was a string of those moments for me. Not really anything special (other than our first major gathering at a friend's new house); not that different from the norm (other than a sneak peak at the wedding dress); not even that over the top in either the "party" or the celebratory nature of the whole evening. Just overwhelming love and happiness and contentment... to the nth degree.

I've noticed that many such moments for me involve being surrounded by friends, family, and especially these friends who have become like family.... often there's a backyard...maybe a guitar or two. Those are my favourite moments. The ones when I think it'd be ok if the world simply stopped.


I know, I'm a sentimental old fool... so sue me. There are worse fates.

lessons learned along the way

You taught me to let go... of past hurts, of grudges, of self-conciousness, of the people who go away. It was a lesson I learned grudgingly (go figure) and I think, still, only incompletely. But the lesson was learned nonetheless.

You taught me that letting go doesn't equate forgetting. In fact it seldom does. And it doesn't equal not caring... but now I can think of the people who have gone with fondness, with a little wistfulness, with the anticipation of the possibility ... but without any of the abject sadness of missing them beyond reason. Because you taught me that.

And you taught me that sometimes, just a moment is enough.

You taught me that I can be stronger than I thought I was. That I can walk away from something, and hope to find something better. You taught me some difficult lessons, things I learned the hard way...your way... I thank you for the lessons learned although I question your "teaching methods" and I'm glad to be free of them.

You taught me that I am beautiful. (although this is a lesson that doesn't always stick) But you taught me and allowed me time for it to sink in and reviewed the lesson time and again, in case I forgot. And it came at an important point... a point when it was the lesson I needed most, the one I'd forgotten completely. I miss you for that (and a few other things). No one has ever made that point quite so eloquently and convincingly as you.

You taught me that I don't need to speak so loudly or so often to be heard. I know, some of you are laughing, wondering if I really learned this one...

I'm learning...

You are teaching me to listen more/better/with greater care. Simply by example you are making me see the value of being a better listener, a little quieter....

I'm learning...

There are more lessons I need to learn; things I need to re-learn (I think I knew that once, I was sure I did). I'm working on it.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
genesis - I began thinking about lessons one particular individual taught me along the way and somehow this became about all sorts of lessons learned, not just those that that original person was responsible for...in fact most of those ones haven't even made this post. Some of them are just between us, or maybe even just mine - my lessons learned, that he didn't even realize he was teaching.

wall o' shame worthy

"I think I met him on both ends"

This is what I said today about someone who I think I met in both Edmonton and Calgary through two seperate groups of theatre type folks.

I may have said "at both ends" ...

Either way I'm blushing and other people are laughing.

Standing in the sweet spot

I'm standing here. Listening to the boy. That boy who I've loved to listen to from here...this spot...for what seems like forever. I will never tire of this. I will never be casual or jaded or not paying attention when he sings this song for me. There may be nothing better than having a song sung for you. And so I stand here...and I listen. And I smile and sing along.