long awaited evening out

Liquid happy * Sonic love * Undulating wall of dance * Positively Steamy....and perhaps just the cure for what ailed me.

Shout...out out...out out...

the upside of shitty

OK so I feel like I'm heading back towards human finally. I've been sick. Very sick - thought I had pneumonia sick. I've been sick alot this winter. Someone asked me if I thought it was my job and that got me thinking. I'm not sure. I'd like to say no, I've just had a bad winter...but maybe there's something to that - who knows? I just know that I am now ridiculously behind on work I have to do, which is making me behind and unable to do work I want to do, which makes it seem like I just can't do it all. And I want to be able to do it all. So badly.

So mostly I just wanted to make the "I suck" post not the first one you see. But I'm not that far from the mindset yet so this is what you get.

Sorry to be a downer.

ok, so I suck.

So today is not my best day. Today I'm sure I'm not good. Not a good friend, not a good daughter, not a good person, not a good officemate, never a good girlfriend. I put pressure on people. I ask for too much and give too little. I push too hard. I have unrealistic expectations. I drop the ball and other people have to pick it up fo me. I make people leave. I can't seem to stay healthy for the life of me and it's driving me crazy that no matter how hard I try I can't do that seemingly simple thing.

This is how I feel about me today. I'll get over it I'm sure...probably when the inside of my throat doesn't feel like someone took sand paper to it and my stupidly stressful day tomorrow is over and done with, this (at least some of it) will seem like a bad dream or something.

But just so you know, I'm not in the best place today so don't fucking bug me.

The end.