Love me, love my rant...

I'm from the East Coast of Canada; Nova Scotia to be exact. I love my province of origin and it has a lot to do with my sense of identity. I am a Bluenoser and a Maritimer through and through… also an Atlantic Canadian (not the same thing - as my Newfie friends will attest). I am possibly all of these things before I am Canadian, although I have a strangely strong sense of national pride as well.

But I have a somewhat irrational, intense, and undeniable difficulty when people say “Out East” and mean Ontario. I think it comes from the years of watching bands do “Cross Canada tours” that went from Vancouver to Toronto, stopping short of the 5 other provinces where I'm sure there are one or two fans. I'm sure this is where my problem began.

I think it is also linked to the problem many Atlantic Canadians (well, all Canadians really) have with the idea that Toronto is the centre of the universe. If “Out East” means Toronto, then there is nothing of significance past that. And that also bugs me.

Also when you learn Canadian history the whole Upper Canada/Lower Canada thing really resounds with many Maritimers. (Not so much with Newfoundlanders since they were still pretty much their own country then).

I know Ontario is east (small “e”) of Alberta. I can read a map. I even acknowledge that if you are speaking of geographic area, Ontario is in the eastern (small “e”) half of the country. But I won't go for it being “Out East” I just won't. I will be stubborn and irrational and I will always grumble about it when it is said. Because I think there are places of significance past Ontario. And I always will.

cranky pants T.

I've been unpleasant lately. More than normal. I've felt a building resentment, a tired-of-it-all-ness, and indistinguishable anger. It's not at anyone or even any one situation... I think I overdid a few things at the end of summer. I think I started things already tired. I think I may still have a leftover issue or two to deal with more fully.

I'm going to try to be better; to get through more days smiling and to sleep enough that I can maintain it all (or at least maintain it better). I will try to stay more on top of certain things so I don't panic and become unable to start, let alone finish. I will eat more veggies and take some time for a bubble bath before I get to the point of crying in the tub 'til it's cold.

For those who've seen the brunt of these moods lately - apologies and much love for somehow still... well you know.

I am saying all this here because I sometimes find myself more committed to a public declaration. No sympathies or commentary are necessary.

stop motion

I wish there was a way to capture motion in a photograph. (and for all of you smart-asses out there who will point out the existenece of video technology, that's not what I mean). There was so much energy in that moment of spinning, dancing, and moving. And the pictures seem so flat. In one I wasn't even sure what I had taken the photo of, until I remembered the volunteer way up on the hill dancing with abandon as she put in her time on the perimeter. Even the frenetic movement of "just Tom" is lost somehow in that stop time moment. "what's he doing?" I thought at first glance.

There was dancing, and singing and moving to the music in the sun and the rain. It was more magical and full of energy than I could ever hope to capture in a mere photo.

But I wish I could have.

At least I captured my emotion... viewing these pictures somehow released those just fine.