where I fit

I like to know where I fit. Where I fit into a situation. What my role is. Who I am to the people around me. I usually know, I usually get it. But I lost it of late on several fronts... I'm gradually finding it professionally speaking, although it's a harder road than I expected and I'm still not sure of some things. And in the other places I'm not sure at all. I'm no longer the person I was then or even then so I'm not sure the recollections of me - yours or mine - are correct... and in some cases I just don't think I can squeeze back into that place. Which begs the question do I even fit at all....?

I can almost smell it...

Not to wish away the summer but...

Three months to ocean views! An extremely rare, but desperately needed warm weather trip to my ocean and maybe beyond. The sound of the waves crashing, the smell of the salt air, the feel of floating as I splash around instead of cringing because it's too cold to dip my toes.

I can already feel my blood pressure decreasing.

a bit of a struggle

I don't know what's wrong. And I don't know how to deal with that. And I don't know how to tell you that I fear the worst.

On another note: I wonder what happened... why I could never be that good.

aargh. Could I be more cryptic?



Do I go this Saturday to see evidence of my former life or do I let them pass through town without a hello?