craving waves... and my grandmother's pie

Easter and Thanksgiving are the only two times throughout the year that I can predict, to the point of expecting it: Homesickness. That craving for family, and for home. For the waves and the turkey and the pie that only my grandmother can make properly. But mostly for the people - that feeling of being a part of a family, of something bigger than myself, with history and connection. Sometimes I even miss being stuck at the kids' table (in spite of having graduated from university and being a "grown-up" for a few years now) I guess probably because those two holidays are really the only days other than Christmas when my family (extended) regularly gets together - those are the days when I am thinking most about the things I miss. But even though I always know it's coming, sometimes that homesickness borders on paralyzing.

But it seems I am incredibly lucky. Because this Easter weekend I have been invited to share in three - count 'em three!! - holiday related events! And I am incredibly grateful to the friends and their families for including me.

For once, I haven't had much time to be homesick.

Thanks for that. It meant alot to me.

small disclaimer

The last two posts were written following, and while recovering from, what was perhaps the most exhausting week of my life. If they seem weird, self indulgent or passive aggressive in any way that is probably why. I thought about deleting them but hey, they are snapshots of me, in that moment, and here is the explanation for them so they can stay.

cravings

Tonight, craving arms around me, I hugged them perhaps a little longer than normal.

Today was one of those days when I just wished there were arms that would stay around me longer, a chest to rest my weary head upon, maybe someone to play with my hair as I rest my head in his lap in front of the TV while we watch the Late Show, or to draw me a bath, with bubbles, and bring me tea.

I don't often crave such things. I am pretty happy with the way things are. But today the craving was there.

So if I hugged a little too long, that was why.

I think...

.... I'm out of the free ticket business.

In the last little while (long while actually) I have gotten a number of people free tickets to a variety of events: theatre, music, the Junos(!!)... sometimes, simply because I had them and sometimes in exchange for a volunteer commitment - that's right commitment - and I've had a number of said people either a)not show up, b) bail after a few songs or c) complain after the fact that the volunteer thing didn't turn out the way they expected or d) some combination thereof.

So....
Because I believe that a volunteer commitment, once made should be kept:

And because I believe that a free ticket to such an event is kind of a nice thing to get;

And because I have volunteered for MANY MANY things and am painfully aware that sometimes volunteer things do turn out differently than expected, but because it was a commitment you still follow through;

And because I am, sadly, the type of person who, once I get a person involved with something, feels somewhat responsible for the outcome (even if, obviously, it is not my responsibility) i.e. whether they have a good time or, more importantly, whether they actually fulfill their commitment (after all I'm the one who recommended them)

.....as of right now - I'm done.

DISCLAIMER: I am not angry with any of these individuals. This feeling of responsibility is my own, it is something I am trying not to give in to but so that I don't have to have a day like this ever again ....I am out of business.

If any of you want to be involved on a volunteer level for any of the things I am connected with, get yourself an application and go for it. There are a couple things coming up that I'd love to have you for and that I think would be very fun - I have volunteered for several of them myself and enjoyed them alot. If it's something tough to get into (like that music festival I work for), please use me as reference on your application. I'd love to have you along for the ride.

This post may self destruct in five seconds...

I love Sam Roberts.

He likes water in blue bottles too.

What's the opposite of Heebie Jeebies?

Another magical disapearring post...

Those "Ladies" are the classiest of class acts... and funny! What a hoot!