April has been a difficult month. Filled with proverbial April showers and all-too-literal Alberta snow...

I lost a friend this month. A friend who was everyone's entertainer, a constant joker somehow conveying love and joy even when he grumbled and swore about something that struck him and brought out his comical ire. A lion tamer of sorts on stage, I have witnessed him tame many a hostile crowd. The banter has gone awry! I'll miss you Joe.

I finished at a job I wanted to love but couldn't. It seemed the perfect fit from outside and I so wanted to succeed but somehow, when all was said and done, it seemed better to go our separate ways, this job and I... before someone got hurt.

And now another someone I know, a friend of many of my own friends, a "theatre person" in the small circle of theatre people, is missing. Missing for almost a week now.

And this has made me think about how easy it would be to become lost in this world. How easy it would have been *then* and *then* to simply slip away. I think I am past that now, settled and happy in this moment - enough that the thought of getting lost seems foreign but remembering when it did not.

This simultaneously scares me (how easy it would have been, could have been, almost was) and inspires gratitude for the moments and the people I now fill my life with.

hugs and much love... and hope for a safe return...