a blanket apology

I must issue a blanket apology... I have become that thing I hate. That person who has such a tight schedule that when I see you has to "fit".

I don't like that at all.

And so I offer this, my blanket apology, for all the times I am forced to say "My schedule is a bit crazed this week." I have only the excuse that I am working what amounts to essentially 2.5 full time jobs right now and filling in any gaps with career related funtimes (which is to say gigs that I am either working in some way or need to "make an appearance at").

I apologize as well if I actually do end up on the other side of the country for as much of December as I think I might. Please know I am thinking of you and wish I could share at least a bit of holiday cheer with you.

January... there's still cheer left in January right? Ukrainian Christmas anyone? Come January I WILL have it all figured out. I WILL have a schedule with gaps. I WILL. Somehow. I promise.

there you are...

I found you.

Don't go away again. Too many people go away. Too many people don't come back. Too many people disappear.

nice to chat a bit.
stick around this time would ya?

in retrospect, I just don't know.

I don't know how to tell you that that thing you do makes me crazy.

I don't know how to take something back once I've said it.

I don't know how to vent to you about ANYTHING without it ending up feeling like arguing.

I don't know how to "not get mad" when I am nothing but.

I also don't know how to not be cranky when you keep telling me that I am (when I'm not, not at the beginning anyway)

I don't know how to "just get over it".

I wish I did, wish I could, wish....

...but I don't know how.