significant phrases

Sometimes it takes me by surprise: that feeling you get when someone calls you "my friend" for the first time; when it sinks in that yes, this person has become a part of my life and I am a part of theirs. Or maybe it's not the first time... maybe you've thought of them that way for a long time but finally the words take on a significance they never had before - like you're hearing it for the first time. (and don't get me started on unexpected "I love yous")

Whether they're around for a moment, a season, or a lifetime, I am extremely lucky in the company I keep.

New link

I added a link today. The Real Live Preacher one. I keep going to the other folks who have the link in order to read him so I decided I would just put it here. He has made me laugh and cry and think about everything from faith to children to racoons since Nick pointed him out awhile ago. Go! Read his archives. Read his stories.

But I'd have kleenex handy. He writes from the heart and soul and it shows.

my cheeks hurt from smiling

OK so perhaps I'm bipolar.

Today I am wondering if it's possible to burst from happiness.

It's amazing the satisfaction that can come from hearing one little word.
Or the joy that can happen as the result of a long winding conversation.
Or the peace that can be had in a moment of comfortable silence...
....in between the words and the conversations.

sunshine smiles

And suddenly the darkness turned to light and words flowed between us in unending streams. Like a teeter-totter - first my way, then his, the conversation went on for days (or at least hours).

This feels like sunshine on my face. It has become like a warm breeze on a hot day - never expected but most welcome, always enticing a satisfied smile and a sigh of relief and contentment.

Ask and ye shall receive

So I bailed on a shift at my other job this past weekend in order to do a different thing. And it seems in return for said bail, I have been removed from working a show I really wanted to see. (grrr - directed towards job I am seriously considering bailing on permanently)

BUT it opens up an evening for unscheduled mischief and mayhem (or doing the rest of my laundry).

Yay me!

Planning to have no plans

I have too many plans. Plans within plans and around other plans. I am overscheduled in a way that isn't fun or exciting, it's just too much. I want to be able to say "yes, I'd love to" when the inevitable last minute thing happens but I am trying to get a feel for what that last minute thing may be ... and "we don't really do that" was the answer given.

Oh to be so abstract random in my schedule. I aspire to it, but somehow it never happens.

Ludicrous Sunglasses Day

Sun shiny day. Playing hooky day (or feeling like you should be). Flip flops and sun hat day. Blanket in the park day. Frisbee fetch with a big dog day (can I borrow one?). Window shopping day. Dipping your toes in the water day. Toenails painted turquoise day. Sundress and bare feet day.

unusually unsocial

Sometimes all I want is to be there. All I need is to listen. All I want is the music (and maybe a beer) And so I don't stay home, even though my mood ( and level of exhaustion) dictates that maybe I should have.

But sometimes on those occasions, the banter, usually welcome and wonderful, becomes overwhelming; the smile and wink, usually contagious, becomes torturous; the "what's wrong" looks too much to bear. And there, in that place, there is another pointed reminder that sometimes (still) makes me sad.

But I don't put on a brave face for you. Because with you I am free to be me.... even uncharacteristically silent me. I'm sorry if that was impolite, or worrisome. That was not my intention. And although I left without the normal ritual, I was not angry. It's just that in that moment a hug would have pushed me to tears and I wanted to save those for a less public forum.