disheartening, disheartened

Some days I really have a difficult time liking people. Not individuals so much as people in general. The entity that is people.

I have a job in which a large part of my work involves the recruitment and coordination of volunteers. And so I need to put my best, most positive face on and really sell what we're doing; in some way I need to make people want to help out. Even on my worst days, I have to make it seem like it's worth their while to help. And most of the time I think I do an ok job. Pretty good in fact. I've always been pretty good at rallying the troops, so to speak. I have a number of people who work very hard for me and I am very thankful to them for all the work that they do.

But then there are days like today. Days where I am rallying troops for something not even I want to do... so that, in itself, makes it harder. And then, at the last minute... not one, not two, but four (4!!) people call to cancel. Within hours of the event.

And suddenly I feel not only resentful towards the individuals who have bailed but also completely bad at my job. Bad.

It's hard when you are not completely the authour of your own fate... you know?