really, not usually a hypochondriac

Not usually a hypochondriac, I find myself in a bit of a dilemna.

And as much as I feel a bit silly talking about this here, a dear friend of mine made me feel better about even thinking about this by explaining that I am a processor – I need to talk about, think about, write about things in order to process them…and then purge them from my train of thought. So I am writing about this here… mostly to try to get over the ridiculous worry, to purge the thought from my head and send the concern out into the ether so I can get on with other things.

3 days ago I may have been exposed to a virus - A virus that affects between 1/3 and ½ the people who become infected…well… by killing them. (It’s not contagious person to person; you get it from an animal). First you come down with general flu-like symptoms (between 1 week and 8 weeks following exposure) then you have a day or two of feeling better, followed by the rapid onset of pulmonary pneumonia. There is no specific treatment other than to treat the symptoms but “in spite of vigorous treatment about 50% of persons infected will die.” (I took this from a medical journal; I’m not making it up).

So all of that said, I only MAY have been exposed… and not everyone who gets exposed gets sick.

So thus is my dilemna. Part of me is completely preoccupied by this train of thought. Most of me, the more rational most of me, knows that the odds are COMPLETELY in my favour and nothing will happen and all will be well. And regardless, worrying accomplishes nothing.

But the shitty thing is, the odds of me coming down with “general flu-like symptoms” in November or December are probably pretty high. Which means even if I manage to purge these thoughts for the time being, as soon as the ache-y feeling of a cold sets in I will be convinced that I have the virus.

So bear with me. I promise on January 21st I will stop fretting. And until then, if I tend a bit more than usual towards the introspective and sentimental… well, deal with it.