is this how it's supposed to be?

I often wonder - is this it? Is this all we get? Is this what I dreamed of when I said "when I grow up I'm going to...?"

Don't get me wrong... I have a great life. I'm healthy. I work doing what I love, and volunteer with what I am passionate about. I make enough money to live on and I have the world's greatest friends (something that was powerfully illustrated for me this past week). I'm almost never bored.

But sometimes it feels like I've missed the boat. Like something is missing. This isn't a rant about how I need a boyfriend - although I think the fact that there's no one extra special in my life has something to do with it. And it isn't that I'm overly dissatisfied with my current status quo.

It just hasn't worked out as I planned. It doesn't fit the picture I once had in my head of how life should be. I still struggle to find meaning, to maintain happiness, to contribute... something. I wonder sometimes if it's true that the ony real meaning you can find in life as an adult is when you have children. (something I don't plan to do).

What will my legacy be?

*Note* - ok, I have now read a couple of my friends blogs today and apparently there is a case of malaise floating around. I didn't mean to be doing this on the same day as everyone else but I guess maybe it's symptomatic for a few of us lately to be asking some bigger questions....