reversal

As impossible as it is to believe, I didn't want them there. Suffering through as I was, I didn't want to be looked upon, or spoken to, or even to feel the love they invariably fill me with. I didn't want company, didn't want to hear voices or laughter or even the clinking of silverware and glasses. I wanted silence. Or I wanted to get lost in the monotone sounds of the shower as I tried in vain to wash away the day I left them to fend for themselves, not something I'd usually do but they are perfectly capable after all.

But they were there when I emerged from the steamy sanctuary. They were there: laughing and talking and singing always there is music - I have no idea how I got this lucky. And I felt myself instantly enveloped in an inexplicable warmth. I felt the day letting go. It hung on stubbornly at first but gradually dissolved into the ether with each song, with each hug, with each smile. dissolving with Dissolving. They took care of me, without even realizing it; becoming, as the hours passed, more exactly what I needed than the silence I initially craved ever could have been.