lost words

Desiring to write (or speak) on a particular thing, I have hit delete time and again (and shut my mouth up tight). All my words are too literal, too personal, too much. I cannot put this on paper. I don't know how to phrase it correctly so as not to reveal too much, or unintentionally hurt someone. It's not really about them anyway. Well, some of it is. It forms coherently only in my head (and my heart)and perhaps it is only the coherence of fully formed emotions and that is why I can't find the words, the sentences, the structure to put it here (or say it aloud). I want to. I want to purge myself in the telling because these things are eating at me, creating doubt where none lived before, asking questions for which I have no answers. I want to be able to write them here and have the picture become clear and stop questioning that which was once so certain.

But I can't find the right words. And that, in itself, is significant. Because words here were never a problem before.