inappropriate forum

I don't know why I'm writing this here. I'm not even sure anyone will see it.

I'm in a bad place. It is something I am finding impossible both to understand and to change. I'm having great difficulty with it and I'm taking it out on the people around me in a number of insidious and obvious ways. I'm not fit for human consumption right now, I'm finding people very overwhelming but the idea of being alone frightens me. I am a broken record.

So I apologize. I would like to say it in person to everyone (almost literally everyone I know) but I can't find the right words for any of this so I'm going to say it here. And I'm going to try to be brave and leave this post up because I think I need to see these words. I think I need a tether.